Month: November 2016

On “Black” Friday, I took my family for a family portrait.  As a “newbie” in this cancer game, I needed to get these portraits done not because I thought it was the last one we would take, but because I may not look like me for a while. I am in my 40s and have had a head full of hair since the day I was born.  My mom said they had to shave in a forehead because my eyebrows and hairline met!  I come from a family of hairy women, our arms, legs, face, etc.  It is a part of who we are.  Women who had bare arms and legs, no faint mustache looked strange to me growing up.  An abundance of hair is my reality.

So the portraits…my husband, who is the more trendy and fashionable one, chose our outfits.  For me, he chose a creme, wool suit from my closet with a deep burgundy blouse with matching heels, for my son, he chose a deep tan corduroy blazer with a creme shirt, red vest and red and white striped bow tie, and for himself, a red corduroy blazer with a creme shirt and tan vest.  We were sharp!  We looked good, we felt good, and for a moment, there was no cancer.  We walked in that place and people looked at us as if to say, “They have it all together!”  As I beamed with pride, my mind shifted to thoughts of “…if they only knew!”  I felt proud of us for being the strong people we are and making sure our son continues to have a normal existence.  It’s hard but I try not to wear that cancer sticker on my chest.

The pictures turned out beautifully and one day I will share with the world, however, when we returned home, I began to wonder, what will this cancer be like toward treatment number three.  Will I want to take any pictures, will I want to go out, will I still have this positive attitude, will I be this strong?  I thought about that pant suit that I thought wouldn’t fit, and it was a tad too big.  I weighed myself and realized since my diagnosis, I lost about eleven pounds.  For some reason, I used Facebook as a distraction, and noticed that I was tagged in a post about “Good Mommies”.  I thought about it and back to my questions to myself.  I thought and affirmed…YES!!!  I will take pictures, I will go out, I will still have a positive attitude, I will be strong because I am a mommy!  Being a mommy has made me a better wife and has made me, by any means necessary, conquer ANYTHING that comes my way!

Thoughtful Wisdom for the Day:

You are who YOU say YOU are and not defined by hair or anything else that you may have known.  The past is for reflection and remembrance so that you can grow from the seeds that were planted then and are flourishing now.  Any challenge can be overcome in your finances, health, and relationships as long as you know who YOU are.  That will determine your perseverance, resilience, and strength throughout any journey you may be on in life.

God…Family…and everything else!

Another thing:  Below is my post from Facebook entitled, “TAG a GOOD Mommy”

To ALL my mommy friends… I truly respect and admire ALL of you❤I have had some time over the holidays to reflect and read FaceBook posts and catch up on pictures. I realize that although we are near and far, haven’t seen each other in years or just saw each other last week, we share a common bond that is stronger than anything on earth… being mommies! We love our children, we love other people’s children and we thrive in this crazy world making IT happen in more ways than one! I enjoy all of the birthdays, educational and sports accomplishments, our dancers and gymnasts and the protection of OUR sons and the nurturing of our daughters! Continued blessings to all of you as you lead your families. Your sharing of your children gives me hope that our communities will prosper and the next Barak and Michelle Obama are in our midst! Love to you all😊

Today was an interesting day. I felt pretty good but questioned myself throughout the day… did I REALLY feel good or was I making myself feel good so my family could enjoy this day??? At about 10:53am, not to be exact, I made a decision. No matter where the energy came from or the belief that I felt good, I would accept it as God’s Favour and hand in my life THIS day. I began my list of things to do and foods to cook. I made mac and cheese, broccoli casserole, dressing, creamed corn, and rice. Last night, I made miniature cheesecakes. Was I going to be able to eat all of this? Time would tell… but I knew for certain, my husband and son would! So I paced myself and took breaks, drank water and relaxed in between oven timers. I reminisced about Thanksgiving pasts and how the house was always filled with family. Children playing, young folks laughing, older folks, laughing louder and sharing stories, everyone catching up.

This year for us would be different. Quiet, just the three of us. Movies and football, laughter courtesy of our only child who is quite entertaining and our dog barking as he witnesses the turkey frying as it gets hot each time he passes! That is our reality today as my immune system breaks down. This time last year, we were all in Tampa, Florida enjoying family for an entire ten days! A tradition I look forward to each year with my husband’s family (…so weird to write it that way because they are MY family too!) Missed them terribly but what can you do? I made my house a home and made sure my family has all the traditions of Thanksgiving. I decorated the house and has my holiday smells blazing! Today was going to be a good day, I’ll sleep later.

The meal was a success, my family was full and happy! I was able to eat small but enough to give me that after dinner feeling. That broccoli casserole I must say was a hit and was he easiest on my stomach and palette! I am so thankful to be able to call on GOD when I need him and trust that he will get me through. It’s now the end of the night, my family is fed and napping and I have time to reflect:

I am THANKFUL for family who called, texted, Facebooked me to just say hi.

I am THANKFUL for my husband who fried the turkey, put away the food and loaded the dishwasher. He is my ROCK and has been my biggest supporter. In sickness and in health.

I am THANKFUL for my son who thought enough about his mommy to ask to buy a beautiful rose for me instead of his usual snack or candy he asks for at the grocery store. I am convinced our little one has been here before. He is so compassionate, loving, and nurturing!

I am THANKFUL to fight another day, see another sunrise, eat another meal, hug my family, and be a witness to God’s goodness and mercy!

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃

Well Day 1 of chemo was long, tiring but better than anticipated! I couldn’t sleep the night before. I was so anxious about the results of my scans, anxious about how this port thing was going to work, anxious about how I would feel and just anxious about how ALL of this would impact my family’s world. My dear husband is with me every step of the way and my son has been a trooper. At 7 years old, he doesn’t quite understand it all, but he knows I may not feel well some days, I may sleep more than usual, and I won’t be able to jump with him on that trampoline!

My treatment center is very welcoming and comfortable. So I’m in a big room with about 30 chairs with a nursing station in the center. The chairs are double wide recliners that go all the way back for sleeping. The chairs have heaters, massagers and sits in front of wide flat screen wall tv like something in a sports bar! Like my best friend said when I told her, “All you need is a mani/pedi!” That would be perfect. As I settled in, my nurse brought me a heated blanket from the warmer.  There were snacks, specialty coffees and teas, beverages and ice water. Everyone was so attentive and very nice. Other than ALL of the medicines, needle sticks and contraptions I have on and in my body, my experience, despite the circumstances was pleasant!

THOUGHT AND WISDOM OF THE DAY:

One thing I have realized is that if you stay positive, this CANcer can be beat! Surround yourself with positive people and those who will take your cues and lead on how to handle you and YOUR situation. Listen to your body and take care of you… Mind Over Matter💞