Month: June 2017

Friday, at 3:42pm, I was officially released by the radiologist! Another mission in my journey complete. Besides some scaring and an unwanted half boob tan … I’m good! I must say though, my 33 visits … yes 33 visits, consecutively, since the middle of May, were a little taxing, but the staff there were GREAT! At the Radiotherapy Clinics of Georgia, Snellville,  I felt like the only one receiving treatment. They knew me by name and I never had to wait (…but I guess if you go somewhere for 33 days at the same time, you will be known)! When it comes to customer service, Miss Carla the receptionist, exchanged the same pleasantries with me each and every time.  Dr. McElveen and her staff were the best!

When I was first diagnosed, I really didn’t know what to expect. I kind of thought everyone would approach me walking on eggshells.  I knew my family and friends would because they were sensitive to my needs and did not want to do or say anything that would bring me down.  Didn’t really know about the staff…was this just routine for them, unfortunately, they’ve seen hundreds of me each year.  Those who work with CANcer patients have to be extra sensitive and probably get specialized training to deal with our moods, questions, and fear.  I was very blessed to have a team that acted as my coaches and motivators to keep me positive and assure me that they would do their very best to get me back to being me!  Of course they could never make promises, but even in their honesty, they always gave me a sense of hope.

I definitely understand why the women I’ve met and those I know in this journey say there is no such thing as CANcer free.  That’s not a bad thing, it’s just a realistic thing.  We are in remission.  When I began my radiation treatments, I had been in remission for about a month.  Radiation is to make sure, if there are any mico, mini, obsure cells, all cells are destroyed….hopefully…That’s the thing about CANcer, and that’s the thing that keeps you from being CANcer free.

Being  finished with radiation, leaves me time to shop, travel, visit, eat, and be merry!  I feel blessed that I managed the radiation experience with minimal effects and can put that experience behind me.  Like I told the staff when I left, “I really appreciate all of your help and care.  You guys (I’m from the Bronx ;-)) are the best!  But I hope I never get to see you again!!!

My CANcer Wisdom to You:  Enjoy life and the journey you’re on…feel blessed!

Happy Father’s Day!  On the Father’s Day, I want to take the time to acknowledge and appreciate all fathers, but especially those fathers who have cared for or continue to care for the women in their lives with breast CANcer.  It is no easy task and a task that is uncertain.  You are our Superhero and our Rock.  Thank you for caring for us and our children.

According to the American Cancer Society, there are about 252,710 new women who are diagnosed with invasive breast cancer (cancer has spread to lymph nodes and/or other organs) and about 63,410 women with no-invasive breast cancer, the earlier stages. cancer.org. I cannot find hard statistics on the number of women that have children, but I can guarantee, it is a lot! That means there are fathers out there that are having to play a new role.  My husband had to go above and beyond to continue to keep things as normal as possible for our son.  Some might say, “…women do that all the time, work, take care of the children, clean, etc.”  That is true, however, this is different.  When a mother has CANcer, sometimes nurturing your child(ren) is hard to do.  About two days after my chemotherapy treatments, I could barely move, let alone hug my son tight, get on my knees and pray with him as we did every night, and play with him like he was used to.  I couldn’t steal kisses, nurse him when he was sick, and go to all of his basketball games and practices as I was used to doing.  My husband had to do all of that…and he had to take care of me.

Being a husband/father of a breast CANcer patient can be stressful and overwhelming.  My husband never mentioned it, but I could tell in the effort he put into keeping things normal, keeping me happy, and maintaining his sanity as provider of our household.  I am not high maintenance, but I know I must have driven him crazy asking about my wigs being on straight, my scarves matching my outfits and if my head looked too big!  not to mention my hot and cold flashes at night, tossing and turning, and craving foods that he would get for me only not to be able to eat them.  He is most patient and a son of God and I know he prayed for ALL of us to get through this.

As a caregiver, you don’t think of yourself and what you need.  You work tirelessly to be supportive and remain vigilant in keeping the atmosphere positive and sanitized!  My husband protected me from every germ known to man and then some.  Germx and Lysol became apart of our décor!  But if it weren’t for him, I don’t know what would have been the outcome.  The battle we fought as a family was less painful and easier because he was able to be a father, husband and a coach and allowed me to receive treatment and recover without worry and without fear.

Telling my dad about my diagnosis was one of the hardest things to do.   It was about two weeks after I told my family before I spoke to my dad about it again.  I could tell it was hard for him, to see his daughter going through such a difficult time.  He would call and ask how I was doing and ended every call with “…hang in there baby…”  Each time he saw me, I had changed.  I lost my hair, my weight, and my “glow”.  I tried to convince him that I was going to be ok and that what he sees are side effects to the medications that were actually working.  The actual CANcer was not doing this.  His phone calls and our visits made me feel like “baby girl” again.  When my hair started to grow back, I could see this smile like that was his visual reminder that I was getting better.  At church, he looked at me today and said, “You look like a Burrus, you look like me!”  As if I didn’t look like him before!  He hugged me twice and we took a selfie.  I felt like that little girl again, who held his hand trying to keep up as we walked.  Fathers continue to be so important to sons and daughters, young and old.

My CANcer Wisdom to You:  On this Father’s Day, please remember all of the fathers who are our Superheroes. Those who take care of us and our families and love us through sickness and health.  Happy Father’s Day!

 

When doctors say you are CANcer free, it’s such a weight lifted. However, that weight is replaced with insecurities, recoveries and new discoveries of how your life will NOW be lived! Before I was diagnosed and long before I new anyone with CANcer, I thought CANcer free meant that’s it… everything is all good, back to normal. Hair grows back, strength is restored and life is great! I am learning in MY journey that there is no such thing as CANcer free…

RADIATION STATION
Taking on CANcer is like riding a train; You have to get on that train, ride and pass many stops and then when you reach your station, you still have to go up and sometimes down and cross bridges to get to your destination. Sometimes you just want to get off regardless of if it’s your stop or not (DENIAL) and at times you just want to ride because you are too tired to get off and go where you need to go (EMOTIONAL STRESS). If that seems like a strange analogy, just know, when you are a CANcer warrior, you try to find anything that will explain the journey. I got on this train to good health at the Chemo Station. While on this train, I went through many dark tunnels. I wanted to get off but I knew I wouldn’t make it to my destination. My engineer (GOD) assured me there was ligh at the end of the tunnel!  I rode on…I continued on my journey and got off at Radiation Station. I’m here for 33 treatments until the next train comes along. I completed treatment 19 this past Friday and have 14 more to go! I am looking forward to the next train as it will take me to my final destination, Improved Quality of Life!

Roller coasters, trains, staircases, war, fire, all analogies used to help others and themselves relate to CANcer and the journey.  For some, it is all they can do to think about what next, what does this mean to have CANcer, what will life be like.  Train stations make me think of transitioning.  Going from one destination to another, leaving the past moving to the future.  My train will be leaving Radiation Station within a few weeks leaving the majority of my CANcer treatment behind me.  I am excited to continue on my journey to a better quality of life.  Looking forward to moving forward and transitioning to helping others in their journey.  Reality will have it that the future is uncertain and the ride will be long, but I am secure in the fact that GOD has a destination for me that my train will travel to with dignity and grace.

My CANcer Wisdom to you:

Travel lightly and enjoy the ride.  Your journey will have ups and downs, uncertain turns and perhaps some bumpy rides.  Appreciate the trip and know your station is forthcoming where you can get off and lead a healthier and more meaningful life.