My Total Eclipse

We’ve waited many years…99 to be exact, for this wonderful sight!  School endings were delayed, families marveled, co-workers gathered, animals were confused, insects hovered…all to witness an act of God!  For some, it was in totality, for others, it was enough to realize that something was changing, something was different.  I was excited about the possibility of seeing a once in a lifetime event.  I was ready with t-shirt and glasses in hand.  While I’m looking through my glasses, of course, I’m seeing the sun slowly disappear, a slight haze come over the playground, the temperature slowly decreasing, and then….I hear this complaining…”…when is the eclipse…when is it going to get dark…this is a waste of time…we have to stay late for this….I left work early for this…they ended school early for this???????”  I was discouraged for a moment, not believing that students and adults would complain about something they could not control or plan for.  My mood was almost ruined, then I thought to myself, everyone is not in the place you are Michele, everyone is not looking through the same lens as you.  One might ask, well what does that mean?  Well, finding out you have a disease that changes your life or can be life threatening will cause you to see life through a different lens.

April 2017, I went into remission and doctors said there was no CANcer in my body!  It took a while to realize that with this comes a responsibility and calling to share my story with others.  On this day of the total eclipse, it was my responsibility to ensure the appreciation for the moment we all on this earth would share.  See, the total eclipse was not just about the moon passing between the Earth and the sun, but it was about the moment 99 years in the making when the Earth and everyone on it seemed to stand still and focus on the sky, looking up and wondering.   As I ignored the complaining, I reflected on my own views relative to the eclipse and what I’ve been through.  I see and look for symbols, things that make me see how blessed I am, symbols that keep me optimistic and hopeful of things to come.  I look at the sun as life before my diagnosis, bright, shining, always high…I look at the Earth as me, massive, full of strength, many valleys, rivers, mountains, depth…and then the moon, passing by, leaving darkness, giving shade.  The total eclipse, there is always light behind the moon, waiting to shine again.  Shade and darkness only lasting but a few minutes, enough to make a difference but not enough to scare away hope!

Its been a while since my last post, partly because I was behind the moon hidden in darkness waiting for a symbol of hope, renewal even.  Inspiration and courage I longed for, to be vulnerable again.  On this day, I found excitement and fun, a symbol of God speaking to his children, showing us what he can do…I believe CANcer has been My Total Eclipse and has brought me to my new reality, out from the darkness, in front of the shade, back in the light with bigger and brighter hope.

 

 

My CANcer Wisdom to you: A Total Eclipse is an awe inspiring moment.  Don’t waste those moments with complaints because it did not go as you had planned.  Enjoy the process of the moment, time spent with others, time spent just being.    Live, Love, Laugh!