Month: January 2018

Happy Birthday to my Best Angel in Heaven, My Inspiration and My Dear Friend.  This year, it will be 10 years that I lost one of my best friends in the world to cancer.  Who would’ve thought that almost 29 years ago, God would send me someone that would be inspiring and prepare me for what was in store for me 29 years later in my cancer journey.  Kelly and I met in September of 1989 on the campus of Hampton University.  We were moving into Virginia-Cleveland Hall, our Freshman dorm.  As we watched our fathers recruit football players to assist them in the lift and our mothers supervise the process, we began to talk.  We both lived in New Jersey (I was living in Georgia at the time), and we both loved sports.  As we began our trek to the top floor, we realized we were headed in the same direction,  the same floor…right next door to each other!  We bonded and the rest is history! 

Kelly was a great friend, a positive influence and so much fun to be around.  I enjoyed her company and we did a lot together.  By our Sophomore year, we were roommates.  She enjoyed giving me guidance and “telling me what to do!!!”  Kelly was the youngest of five sisters and would remind me that she was older than me…only by about a month and a half though!

 

 

We remained great friends throughout the years.  It broke my heart when she transferred to Temple University our Junior year, but we visited each other and kept in touch, still remaining close friends.  On my graduation day, Kelly surprised me.  I was so excited that my best friend took the time to share in this special day.

Fast forward to July 2000, Kelly was in my wedding.

 

 

I miss my dear friend but I use her life and her way of handling her cancer diagnosis as an inspiration and a model of a God-fearing woman who did not let cancer steal her joy.  When I would speak to her, she was always positive and reassuring even though she was facing some uncharted waters.  Kelly would tell me to have faith and that everything would be alright.  I was always fascinated by her strength and her candor when I would ask questions.  Of course, Kelly would never disappoint as she was ready to give that motherly talk and advice!  I wish she were here today.  I wish I could have a conversation, tell her about our son, about my career, about my life.  Ask her questions about her life, her family…

In 2006, when Kelly was a mere 35 years young, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was so strong and diligent about her health.  Unfortunately, in 2007, she had another bout with cancer, even after treatments and on the 28th day of July, was called home.  I’ve saved her emails and her letters and read them often for inspiration.  Our last conversation was about her treatment and how she was taking the more “wholistic” route.  Once again, she reassured me that everything would be fine.  I miss my friend…

 

 

From Me to You
Kelly Golliday to you
November 15, 2007
Hi:

This is a quick and personal update from me to you.

I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Cancer last Thursday evening. I had been in Cooper Hospital for 6 days and was being treated for a breast infection secondary to Radiation Therapy. Upon discharge I saw my oncologist and surgeon from Jefferson Hospital and was readmitted to Jefferson for 5 days. I was then administered a biopsy and the results came in last Thursday. The medical community is astonished and don’t know how an aggressive tumor could have survived all the chemo and radiation I had just completed.

On this past Monday, I had surgery to have a port installed to begin chemo. I started chemo on yesterday and had my PET SCAN today to determine if and where the cancer has spread.

GOD is still on the throne. Less than a year ago when I was diagnosed with Aggressive Triple Negative Breast Cancer, the Lord reviled to me that my sickness was not unto death. I told fast to His promised and told fast to his grace and mercy. You see, I have seen lives changed. I am blessed with medical support who see me as a God-fearing woman and have said, ” I don’t know why God is testing you!” and I praise Him for using me to touch lives. Lord knows that I am not worthy, but I am a work in process and transformation.

Don’t pity me, but keep me and the family in prayer. We will survive this. We meaning you and I. God is in control.

There may be times that I don’t return you call (but I appreciate them) or even a text message. I am on heavy pain meds and when I can able I try to give my girls all my energy and strength and attention.

I again appreciate all the love and support, calls and cards, prayers and gifts. We have been blessed through you.

May God be glorified through this journey.

Love you
Kelly

Today was a day that changed my outlook on life, or shall I say enhanced my outlook on life! I finally was able to have my port removed! A port is what is put in your chest and connected to your veins when you receive chemotherapy and other intravenous treatments. Even though it involves outpatient surgery to have it placed and removed, you don’t feel anything during the procedure, while it’s in your chest or while you’re having treatment. It was far better than getting stuck in a vein every three weeks! I am so thankful that this part of the journey is done! So now what’s the next part of this journey? Where do I go from here?

I decided to mark this milestone in my life by reinventing myself. During my journey, there were many ups and downs, many times of confusion and many days of trepidation. Reinventing myself is my way of moving on, releasing the fear and confusion, and giving myself another chance to travel on this journey with a new set of luggage (my attitude) and a passport stamped for healing and good health! Doctors spoke about a different quality of life that I would have to get use to, new habits to develop, new inconveniences, etc. Do you think that’s going to change my outlook on life?!? Absolutely not!!!  I know the journey never ends with a cancer diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean I will be slowed down or have my dreams deferred because of it!  I am a Warrior, I am a Survivor and I will STRETCH myself, REINVENT myself, LIVE LIFE!!!

Last week, a dear friend of mine posted on Facebook that Sunday, our Pastor, Pastor Curney, stated that becoming better means you have to stretch…”Jesus did not ask the man to stretch his hand for examination, He asked him to stretch out for glorification!
Stretch out in order to be healed.”  Mark 3:1-6

In order to heal you have to alter the way you exist; take risks with your spirituality, your heart and mind.  You have to stretch. God made you to stretch.  This resonates with me in every fiber of my being.  When I read my friends post, I realized that God was affirming for me that I was on the right path in my journey.   I am reading a book by Charles Paul Conn called, “Making It Happen: A Christian looks at Money, Competition and Success (…one of the positives out of this journey…time to read and reflect…).  I found this book on my parents’ shelf.  The book just jumped out at me amongst many books I’ve always seen, however, this time on our visit, I ventured to the shelf and brought it home with me.  The book was written in 1981, but has so many ideas and principles that are applicable to today and specifically, to my journey.  The one chapter in particular that brought together Pastor Curney’s sermon and my reading, introduced The Rubber Band Principle.  This principle says a rubber band that is just there, is not doing its job. But when it’s pulled in both directions it can finally do what it’s meant to do. That’s similar to how we handle life and our mindset.  If we just live in our situation and wait for something to happen, we are not stretching our selves the way God has intended.  When a rubberband is stretched, there will be tension, but without that tension, the rubberband cannot hold together those pens in the drawer, that paper that needs to be together, that hair would be a mess if not held tightly by that stretched out rubberband!

Reinventing myself means I have to stretch.  I have to take risks, endure challenges, and make decisions to go above and beyond when it comes to my eating, exercising, career, relationships, child rearing, etc.  I have to be that rubberband and continue to stretch myself despite the tension I may feel or may be pressed upon me.  The tension I feel, is supposed to be there as it affirms that I am doing the work God intended me to do.  God made me to accept challenges and to take risks.  He provides the relief in the tension as I stretch.  He protects me and gives me no more than I can handle, so why not stretch, why not reinvent myself, why not take risks and accept challenges???

Those of us who have been through or are still facing cancer treatments, there is a sense that life stops and the focus is the never ending cycle of bloodwork, treatment, medication, rest, recovery, doctors…bloodwork, treatment, medication, rest, recovery, doctors…well I say, stretch, take just one step more than you think you can and continue to pursue dreams.  Take a leap of faith and never give up.  Reinvent yourself.  Do something that makes you feel refreshed, change something that makes you feel renewed, and most importantly, maintain a positive attitude that keeps you focused.  I’m not saying everyday on this journey is easy but I am saying that on this journey you can take a leap of faith and STRETCH!

A room with a view.  This was my view from my hospital bed in December.  Beautiful sunsets, beaming lights, life happening at a high rate of speed… and me, waiting, watching, wondering. Will this be the day, will I get great news, will I go home today? The devil has been so busy in 2017, I didn’t know what to think!  I looked back out of that window to the heavens and a calmness came over me and then a certain warmth that seemed to wrap itself around my belly…I am going to be alright!

As we welcome in 2018, I am so blessed to see another year after the devil has been so busy! I’ve remained faithful and driven and my God doesn’t disappoint!  As I stared out of the window, I thought about and reflected on how far God has brought me.  I thought about the possibilities outside of that window, what God has in his hands for me.  It took me a long time to realize that I am here because HE wants me here, HE needs me here, in sickness and in health!  I still have work to do, more to accomplish, people to help.

As I vacated room 378, I did not make any resolutions, nor did I make any promises to myself, but I did think about how I will do things differently, live differently and attempt to take more risks and accomplish what I dared not to even fathom a year ago.  Through sickness and in health, I’ve had opportunities to really think about my life and what I want for me and my family.  You know, facing uncertainties will make you really take the time to do lots of things!!!  This year, just like every new year is an opportunity to make changes.  Of course, you can make these changes throughout the year, however, there is something about January 1st that provides procrastinators with another chance! I am living my “another chance”!

As I close this first post for 2018, I would like to take a risk and end with a challenge.  I challenge anyone who has read any of my posts to comment on this post, what you will do differently, what risk will you take, and/or how will you act differently in the new year?

Enjoy a wonderful 2018 and make every day a New Year!  I look forward to providing more information, inspiration, humor, and tips in the new year.