I wear purple today in honor of the Late Robert L. Johnson, my Granddaddy, he had Alzheimer’s Disease. In June 1986, my family made a decision that would change our lives. Little did we know it would be a change forever. My granddaddy lived in Baltimore, Maryland, 11 hours away from where we live in Georgia. He was a man of God, minister of a church, and worked hard in his community. Even when his community began to change, and it was evident that there were others who struggled around him, he was always there to help. Making the decision to move him to Georgia with us was not difficult for my parents, but it was very difficult for my Granddaddy as he felt his life was being controlled by something he was unaware of.
As we moved him to Georgia, there were so many challenges. My parents had to convince my Granddaddy that leaving everything he knew, his church family, his home, his community, was the best thing for him. At 83, my Granddaddy was still working, still driving, and still living alone. Although, he was managing, his friends noticed that it would soon become unsafe and let my parents know his new reality. His health deteriorated quickly and my family had to make a move.
My family endured some interesting events as they traveled with my Granddaddy and as he became a part of our household. While driving from Maryland to Georgia, my parents made a stop at a rest area to give my Granddaddy a break from riding and to use the restrooms. As they were taking this break, my Granddaddy forgot who he was traveling with and alerted the state patrol that he was being kidnapped and “these people” stole his money. By the grace of God, the officer came to investigate and understood exactly what was going on; he too was dealing with a parent with Alzheimer’s and he was able to calm my Granddaddy and get him back in the car.
Over the time he was with us, he forgot where he was and tried to go to work, he left the house with his briefcase and my parents had to get him back home, he baptized me, my sister and my friend in the bathtub (which I guess we needed!) and he started a fire in the garbage can because he was cold! We were blessed that he never was hurt or hurt anyone. Even though he eventually forgot who we were, he was thankful we took care of him, I know. Alzheimer’s took his memory, his ability to take care of himself and his hope towards the end. But Alzheimer’s Disease never took his faith.
On December 24th, my Granddaddy and I did what we always did at 4pm, watched The Oprah Winfrey Show. I thought this was so funny that of all things, he made sure he watched Oprah! This particular show had the entire Winan Family for a Christmas special. My Granddaddy enjoyed the singing the most. My mom was baking cookies, my sister was playing and my dad was preparing the fireplace, traditional Christmas Eve bustle. At a point, my Granddaddy sat up in his chair and asked me to get him a glass of orange juice. I thought this a weird request, as he never really asked for anything. I went to get his juice and when I came back, he was quietly asleep in his chair, head hung over…maybe he was praying…when I called to him and tried to give him his juice, I knew why he sent me for orange juice. I believe he needed a moment alone where he bowed his head and had a talk with God to let him know he was ready to come home. To which God responded with open arms.
There are so many more stories I could tell and so many more memories to share. My Granddaddy was a great man and taught me so much in the time he was with us. I believe that he stays with me, and my spirituality and reliance on scripture during my battle with breast CANcer is my Granddaddy. If he were here in the flesh, he would remind me that God has the final say and that I should be obedient to him. He would also tell me I have an obligation to fulfill his purpose and help those who are not able. I pray I am doing that and have accepted that God used CANcer to use me.
Visit alz.org for more information and ways you can help bring awareness to this disease.
Robert L. Johnsoon
Sunrise August 11, 1903 Sunset December 24, 1987
Have you ever really thought about the definition of father…dad? Webster’s Dictionary says, “…a : one (man) related to another in a way suggesting that of father to child…” But is that how we look at our fathers, our men? So formalized…so impersonal, if you know and love a father dad like I do!
Going through the cancer journey puts things in perspective. You slow down, enjoy every minute, and reflect on your life that has been lived and how you want the rest of your life. I’ve experienced the burdens of death and the joys of birth within these past few weeks. I’ve been able to spend time with extended family for various occasions and enjoy the outdoors, no internet, no television, no radio, no soda! 😊
It was just God, Us, and the Earth! There were some moments when I stepped outside my body and watched those around me as if I wasn’t there. I wondered how things would be for my family without me. I had to quickly reset and be present….those thoughts are not beneficial to healing. The cancer journey will do that, put your mind in predicaments and battles that can harm or help your spirit. The moment my mind goes to harm, I consciously move to help. I’m thankful and verbalize to myself how grateful I am to be in this moment and create memories with my family.
Yesterday, I was ending my endless pit of clothes to wash, fold, and put away. Dumping the dried clothes on the couch, and ready to settle in and watch television I realized, I couldn’t find the remote! I had to go old school and walk up to the actual television and turn it on! In these digital times though, I couldn’t change the channel, I needed THAT remote. For some reason, the television was on channel 30, a public station with religious programming. Now I am a devout Christian and I am a spiritual being, but I was really trying to “take a little time to enjoy the View”! I searched and searched, drove myself crazy and then I stopped in the Moment… I listened… I sat and I watched. This minister, Dr. Michael Usef, spoke about “…trusting his timing…” that things may take longer than you think, but if you have faith and “trust his timing”, you will reap the benefits of his favor. So today in this moment, I take time to reflect on my healing and my health and know in HIS timing, in this remission of breast cancer, I will BE and FEEL healed!
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