STAYCATIONING and VACATIONING!!! That is what I have been doing for the last 45 weekdays, 10 weekends and 2 months and some days. Just to clarify, I did attend some professional learning classes, for those that still believe teachers have summers “off”! It’s been a very reflective summer and a very emotional summer in a good way. I was able to spend an enormous amount of time with my husband and son, visit family, travel and network with other warriors in this CANcer struggle. With this summer behind me, I have realized a couple of things: I am not alone, I needed the rest, I am ready to move forward, and I ate quite a bit!!!
Today was the 1st day of year 24 in education. I have had an incredible journey in education and look forward to coming down from the top of this waterslide…6 more twists and turns to go, until I splash into the wave pool of retirement! As you can tell summer is still on my mind!
Today, our school and cluster schools had a wonderful opportunity to kick off he school year with a pep-rally. We do this every year, and it really energizes us. During football season, there is a pep-rally every Friday to energize the team, hoping to get them to win and enter the play-offs and ultimately win a championship. Well for us, we want our students to win so it is us who need to be energized.
Each year, our school system has a motivational speaker to come and share a message with us. We’ve had former students, retired educators, military and a pastor. This year, we had the pleasure of receiving a message from Aimee Copeland, a young woman from Georgia who lost her hands, a leg, and a foot in a freak accident in a river. She encountered flesh-eating bacteria that took over her body when simply using a “homemade” zipline that snapped. She fell into a river and the rest is history. She attended our cluster schools as a young person and remains an inspiration to our students. Not only did she energize us, but she made us all think, really think about our own challenges in and outside of the classroom.
As I listened to Aimee Copeland speak, I thought of my own challenges with breast CANcer and Lynch Syndrome. I thought about all the barriers and obstacles that I faced with the diagnosis and that I continue to face through my remission. She said something that was so profound, so meaningful, so powerful, I changed my entire “blog” thought. Aimee “Schooled Me”!
Suffering is relative. If you are alive, there are going to be those who suffer more than you. You may think you are at your lowest, but if you live, there are lower places where you can be. “…in the bed next to me was a woman who could only move her face. She wanted her limbs to be cut off, so she could have prosthesis and be able to move like me. She wished she was me. I realized then, I had to work through my circumstances and have the will to move. I will walk I tell myself and I will. It may take a long time, but I will, and in my way!”
~Aimee Copeland
Aimee Copeland “Schooled Me”! I thought about myself and my CANcer network. Over the summer, 5 women loss their battle. It’s awfully tough, but the warriors that are left, must go on. There is guilt that comes with that, but then you think about the difference you can make for those who are still here. Aimee is such an example of strength and will, I have no choice but to live in my truth and stay positive. She said, “We can’t control what happens to us, we can only control how we respond”. I’ve heard that many times before, but in this context and today, she is so right.
This year back to school is very special. This is the first year since my diagnosis in October of 2016 that I enter the school year without any pending surgeries, no monthly doctor appointments, no treatments, no special diets, no tingly feet (…well just a little tingly…) and no fatigue (…other than getting used to being up at the crack…)! I am so excited about regaining my focus on my family and building relationships with my students. Now don’t get me wrong, I continue to focus on my health, that will never change, but I get to take a closer step to “normal” …whatever that is!
At times, being a warrior, survivor, pink sister, all those titles, is difficult. People assume because you act, talk, and move in a positive light, you’re good. For the most part, I am, however, I still struggle with guilt. Guilt for what my family has endured, guilt of survival, guilt of the financial strain of treatments, etc. CANcer guilt is a real thing. It doesn’t last long, however, it is a real feeling. I’ve been better lately and back to Aimee, she really made it ok to have ALL the feelings I have, but I should never stay in that place and accept blame, fault or guilt for my condition. I’m able to move, I’m able to teach, so I’m able to make a difference in a child’s life. If I’m going into the classroom, I owe it to them to be present and be available.
Aimee Copeland is such an inspiration and such a testimony to true grit. She told us we shouldn’t be afraid to fail because we can use that as a stepping stone to success. Even in disease or illness, we can take that advice. You may not have a choice in your circumstance, but you can control how you handle it and what you do to keep positivity in your life.
As I begin pre-planning for another school year, Aimee’s words stay with me. I can apply them to me and I can apply them to my students. I will share her story of perseverance and model for them what it takes to use your will to make things happen.
My CANcer Wisdom to You: You cannot control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it.
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