Zumba was EVERYTHING today!!! As I continue to stretch and change my mindset, I went to my first Zumba class. Being in remission has its ups and downs: You celebrate a win and how you conquered one of the worse demons on Earth, however, you face years of medication, uncertainty, and limitations. You also have to be mindful that you are building your body’s strength and endurance while trying not to over do it. Your mind may tell you yes, go for it, but your body is asking, “Are you crazy?!?” Sit it down!!! Well if you know me, I listen to my heart AND mind despite what my body says! Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes… well, you know the rest.

Zumba class was at ATL-Sports in Lake City, a fundraiser for the American Heart Association. The instructors were great and I had the best time. I met so many women of multi-ages and ethnicities, shared my journey with one, and was able to fellowship in the spirit of good heart health. There was a point when I felt a calmness and coolness come over me. It was like God was letting me know it was ok to let go and let God! Don’t just survive, thrive! I’ve been in a constant debate about when to start reclaiming my life, not wanting to start things and not finish. Afraid that if I begin something, my CANcer would come back and then I would be defeated again. Then I realized, God did not intend for me to survive and then sit around and wait for my demise. HE intended for me to stretch, live, love, laugh. Do things I’ve never done, see things I’ve never seen. Who would have thought a Zumba class, across town, EARLY, again I say EARLY in the morning, would bring me such affirmation and joy! Of course, this is not by chance,  but ordained by THE MAN himself! I continue getting my Zumba on, taking breaks, hydrating and eating all the bananas and nutrgrain bars they had to offer. Not realizing, this class never stops… YOU may stop, but the music keeps going, the instructors keep instructing, and everyone else  “Zumbas” on! Such is life… we may stop and take breaks, sometimes to refresh and unfortunately sometimes to quit. But we have to keep going, change our mindset, and keep up with the music 🎶

It’s funny how everyday life events can bring you to such profound realizations. From cancer to a Zumba class, from music to hydration, everything, every moment has its purpose. That’s the intention of life, purpose, don’t just survive, thrive.

As I share my thoughts with you, I am tickled at myself and my new found revelations. We went into our cool down and I wondered if I would even be able to drive. Although energized and pumped, I was done! Then the cool down song came on, “I Shall Live and Not Die”, by Darlene McCoy. I became so overwhelmed as if The Lord whispered in my ear to let me know HE has me! I know HE does, but we all need that affirmation that let’s us know our faith will keep us in his favor!

My CANcer Wisdom to You, are some profound lyrics from that most beautiful cool down song:
“I will fear no alarm,
And escape this unharmed,
Because I stand here knowing I’m never alone.
I just believe that I’ll have what I say,
So I speak to my life and call forth a new day…

“I’ll finish strong
I’ll finish strong
I’ll finish strong
I’ll finish”~”I Shall Live and Not Die”, by Darlene McCoy

 

Yesterday, I hit the track for the first time since my diagnosis of breast cancer in October of 2016! My husband and I did a mile!!!! I was so proud of myself as I watched our son at track practice with his team. I felt like I stretched…I was walking the walk… I was setting the example for our son. As Coach Jimmy Valvano said right before he lost his battle with cancer, “Never give up! Don’t ever give up!” I have to admit, there was one moment when I did. I did not give up on life, but I gave up on living. I stopped running, I stopped dancing, I didn’t even want to leave the house unless it was for treatment or work…familiar faces and places. As I walk through this journey, or RUN through this journey😊, I realize that you have to keep moving. There is a huge difference between having life and living life. No matter what hand you’re dealt, nor what your future holds, you’ve got to keep your head in the game.

So many things have changed in my life some good some not so good, but everything that has changed has helped me to be better, to do better, and want better for myself and my family.  The first time I touched a track was when I was 8 years old, the same age as our son now.  The track was the place where I felt free, able to enjoy the weather, the breeze against my skin, the sun on my face.  I was able to think, reflect, sing, be with my friends and just simply be.  Running and walking always made me feel good!  Yesterday brought all of that back.  It reminded me of what once was and what could be again.  It reminded me that I had gotten through a part of the journey that had humbled me and built me up.  A journey that reminded me that HE is able so that I am able.  Yesterday was a pivotal point in my life.

If you have struggled or continue to struggle through your cancer journey, remember to live life in the best ways you know how.  Do your best to keep a level head and a positive outlook.  Even in your darkest days find something to cling to that you love, that gives you energy, that allows you to be human but be present in the moment.  “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up!”

Jimmy Valvano was an inspirational college basketball coach, most memorable coaching at North Carolina State University.  In April of 1993 shortly after his infamous speech at the ESPYs, Coach Jimmy Valvano lost his battle with adenocarcinoma.  He was such an inspiration to many and continues to bring hope to all who hear his message  25 years later.

Jimmy Valvano Espy Speech

My CANcer Wisdom to You:  In the words of Coach Jimmy Valvano, “Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever. I thank you and God bless you all.”

For more information on The Jimmy V Foundation, please visit www.jimmyv.org/

All open doors are not meant for you to walk through.  Some are just meant for you to see what’s possible.  Today was the Hot Chocolate 5K/15K in Atlanta.  I’ve always wanted to participate in this run.  It’s for a good cause and they always have hot chocolate at the end!!!  Well, I was encouraged by some friends to register and participate this year since last year this time, I was going through my chemotherapy treatment.  I registered and that was that.  This past week, I began to think…I will be returning back to school after several and several weeks, can I even do a 5K walk or run, am I able to get up at the crack to even get to my girl’s house?  Yes I can and yes I will!!! I got my packet with my cool shirt, I bought all of the necessary items to keep me warm and I was ready to go.  Then I looked at the weather…cold…cold and rainy…cold and freezing rain.  Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into???

Well, if you follow my posts, I recently spoke about stretching.  God intended us to stretch, HE intended me to stretch even though the tension could be great…stretch, do things I wouldn’t do, challenge myself, take risks.  Weather report…cold, freezing rain!  Well, maybe Sunday will change and be cold, but not rainy.

I woke up early Sunday ready to stretch myself, no training, no working out, no exercising, just get up and go stretch.  I looked outside, looked at the temperature, looked at the weather channel, my hubby looked at me………maybe we can walk at the mall!  My dream of The Hot Chocolate 5K/15K would have to be deferred.  I could not risk catching the flu or pneumonia just so I could “stretch”.  Sometimes, God opens doors so we can see what is possible.  He clearly did not want we to walk through this door and undo the healing he placed upon me! I need time to prepare myself for the next 5K/15K.  The Diva run is coming in March.  maybe God intended for me to see the possibilities…..but in a couple of weeks when it is warmer!  I love my Hot Chocolate shirt though!!!

My CANcer Wisdom:  Sometimes, God opens doors for you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants you have to walk through them.  Sometimes, it’s just so you can see what’s on the other side, the opportunities that await so that you can prepare yourself.  HE is preparing you for the next door of opportunity, the one you will knock down!

Happy Birthday to my Best Angel in Heaven, My Inspiration and My Dear Friend.  This year, it will be 10 years that I lost one of my best friends in the world to cancer.  Who would’ve thought that almost 29 years ago, God would send me someone that would be inspiring and prepare me for what was in store for me 29 years later in my cancer journey.  Kelly and I met in September of 1989 on the campus of Hampton University.  We were moving into Virginia-Cleveland Hall, our Freshman dorm.  As we watched our fathers recruit football players to assist them in the lift and our mothers supervise the process, we began to talk.  We both lived in New Jersey (I was living in Georgia at the time), and we both loved sports.  As we began our trek to the top floor, we realized we were headed in the same direction,  the same floor…right next door to each other!  We bonded and the rest is history! 

Kelly was a great friend, a positive influence and so much fun to be around.  I enjoyed her company and we did a lot together.  By our Sophomore year, we were roommates.  She enjoyed giving me guidance and “telling me what to do!!!”  Kelly was the youngest of five sisters and would remind me that she was older than me…only by about a month and a half though!

 

 

We remained great friends throughout the years.  It broke my heart when she transferred to Temple University our Junior year, but we visited each other and kept in touch, still remaining close friends.  On my graduation day, Kelly surprised me.  I was so excited that my best friend took the time to share in this special day.

Fast forward to July 2000, Kelly was in my wedding.

 

 

I miss my dear friend but I use her life and her way of handling her cancer diagnosis as an inspiration and a model of a God-fearing woman who did not let cancer steal her joy.  When I would speak to her, she was always positive and reassuring even though she was facing some uncharted waters.  Kelly would tell me to have faith and that everything would be alright.  I was always fascinated by her strength and her candor when I would ask questions.  Of course, Kelly would never disappoint as she was ready to give that motherly talk and advice!  I wish she were here today.  I wish I could have a conversation, tell her about our son, about my career, about my life.  Ask her questions about her life, her family…

In 2006, when Kelly was a mere 35 years young, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was so strong and diligent about her health.  Unfortunately, in 2007, she had another bout with cancer, even after treatments and on the 28th day of July, was called home.  I’ve saved her emails and her letters and read them often for inspiration.  Our last conversation was about her treatment and how she was taking the more “wholistic” route.  Once again, she reassured me that everything would be fine.  I miss my friend…

 

 

From Me to You
Kelly Golliday to you
November 15, 2007
Hi:

This is a quick and personal update from me to you.

I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Cancer last Thursday evening. I had been in Cooper Hospital for 6 days and was being treated for a breast infection secondary to Radiation Therapy. Upon discharge I saw my oncologist and surgeon from Jefferson Hospital and was readmitted to Jefferson for 5 days. I was then administered a biopsy and the results came in last Thursday. The medical community is astonished and don’t know how an aggressive tumor could have survived all the chemo and radiation I had just completed.

On this past Monday, I had surgery to have a port installed to begin chemo. I started chemo on yesterday and had my PET SCAN today to determine if and where the cancer has spread.

GOD is still on the throne. Less than a year ago when I was diagnosed with Aggressive Triple Negative Breast Cancer, the Lord reviled to me that my sickness was not unto death. I told fast to His promised and told fast to his grace and mercy. You see, I have seen lives changed. I am blessed with medical support who see me as a God-fearing woman and have said, ” I don’t know why God is testing you!” and I praise Him for using me to touch lives. Lord knows that I am not worthy, but I am a work in process and transformation.

Don’t pity me, but keep me and the family in prayer. We will survive this. We meaning you and I. God is in control.

There may be times that I don’t return you call (but I appreciate them) or even a text message. I am on heavy pain meds and when I can able I try to give my girls all my energy and strength and attention.

I again appreciate all the love and support, calls and cards, prayers and gifts. We have been blessed through you.

May God be glorified through this journey.

Love you
Kelly

Today was a day that changed my outlook on life, or shall I say enhanced my outlook on life! I finally was able to have my port removed! A port is what is put in your chest and connected to your veins when you receive chemotherapy and other intravenous treatments. Even though it involves outpatient surgery to have it placed and removed, you don’t feel anything during the procedure, while it’s in your chest or while you’re having treatment. It was far better than getting stuck in a vein every three weeks! I am so thankful that this part of the journey is done! So now what’s the next part of this journey? Where do I go from here?

I decided to mark this milestone in my life by reinventing myself. During my journey, there were many ups and downs, many times of confusion and many days of trepidation. Reinventing myself is my way of moving on, releasing the fear and confusion, and giving myself another chance to travel on this journey with a new set of luggage (my attitude) and a passport stamped for healing and good health! Doctors spoke about a different quality of life that I would have to get use to, new habits to develop, new inconveniences, etc. Do you think that’s going to change my outlook on life?!? Absolutely not!!!  I know the journey never ends with a cancer diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean I will be slowed down or have my dreams deferred because of it!  I am a Warrior, I am a Survivor and I will STRETCH myself, REINVENT myself, LIVE LIFE!!!

Last week, a dear friend of mine posted on Facebook that Sunday, our Pastor, Pastor Curney, stated that becoming better means you have to stretch…”Jesus did not ask the man to stretch his hand for examination, He asked him to stretch out for glorification!
Stretch out in order to be healed.”  Mark 3:1-6

In order to heal you have to alter the way you exist; take risks with your spirituality, your heart and mind.  You have to stretch. God made you to stretch.  This resonates with me in every fiber of my being.  When I read my friends post, I realized that God was affirming for me that I was on the right path in my journey.   I am reading a book by Charles Paul Conn called, “Making It Happen: A Christian looks at Money, Competition and Success (…one of the positives out of this journey…time to read and reflect…).  I found this book on my parents’ shelf.  The book just jumped out at me amongst many books I’ve always seen, however, this time on our visit, I ventured to the shelf and brought it home with me.  The book was written in 1981, but has so many ideas and principles that are applicable to today and specifically, to my journey.  The one chapter in particular that brought together Pastor Curney’s sermon and my reading, introduced The Rubber Band Principle.  This principle says a rubber band that is just there, is not doing its job. But when it’s pulled in both directions it can finally do what it’s meant to do. That’s similar to how we handle life and our mindset.  If we just live in our situation and wait for something to happen, we are not stretching our selves the way God has intended.  When a rubberband is stretched, there will be tension, but without that tension, the rubberband cannot hold together those pens in the drawer, that paper that needs to be together, that hair would be a mess if not held tightly by that stretched out rubberband!

Reinventing myself means I have to stretch.  I have to take risks, endure challenges, and make decisions to go above and beyond when it comes to my eating, exercising, career, relationships, child rearing, etc.  I have to be that rubberband and continue to stretch myself despite the tension I may feel or may be pressed upon me.  The tension I feel, is supposed to be there as it affirms that I am doing the work God intended me to do.  God made me to accept challenges and to take risks.  He provides the relief in the tension as I stretch.  He protects me and gives me no more than I can handle, so why not stretch, why not reinvent myself, why not take risks and accept challenges???

Those of us who have been through or are still facing cancer treatments, there is a sense that life stops and the focus is the never ending cycle of bloodwork, treatment, medication, rest, recovery, doctors…bloodwork, treatment, medication, rest, recovery, doctors…well I say, stretch, take just one step more than you think you can and continue to pursue dreams.  Take a leap of faith and never give up.  Reinvent yourself.  Do something that makes you feel refreshed, change something that makes you feel renewed, and most importantly, maintain a positive attitude that keeps you focused.  I’m not saying everyday on this journey is easy but I am saying that on this journey you can take a leap of faith and STRETCH!

A room with a view.  This was my view from my hospital bed in December.  Beautiful sunsets, beaming lights, life happening at a high rate of speed… and me, waiting, watching, wondering. Will this be the day, will I get great news, will I go home today? The devil has been so busy in 2017, I didn’t know what to think!  I looked back out of that window to the heavens and a calmness came over me and then a certain warmth that seemed to wrap itself around my belly…I am going to be alright!

As we welcome in 2018, I am so blessed to see another year after the devil has been so busy! I’ve remained faithful and driven and my God doesn’t disappoint!  As I stared out of the window, I thought about and reflected on how far God has brought me.  I thought about the possibilities outside of that window, what God has in his hands for me.  It took me a long time to realize that I am here because HE wants me here, HE needs me here, in sickness and in health!  I still have work to do, more to accomplish, people to help.

As I vacated room 378, I did not make any resolutions, nor did I make any promises to myself, but I did think about how I will do things differently, live differently and attempt to take more risks and accomplish what I dared not to even fathom a year ago.  Through sickness and in health, I’ve had opportunities to really think about my life and what I want for me and my family.  You know, facing uncertainties will make you really take the time to do lots of things!!!  This year, just like every new year is an opportunity to make changes.  Of course, you can make these changes throughout the year, however, there is something about January 1st that provides procrastinators with another chance! I am living my “another chance”!

As I close this first post for 2018, I would like to take a risk and end with a challenge.  I challenge anyone who has read any of my posts to comment on this post, what you will do differently, what risk will you take, and/or how will you act differently in the new year?

Enjoy a wonderful 2018 and make every day a New Year!  I look forward to providing more information, inspiration, humor, and tips in the new year.  

As this is my last post for 2017, I wanted to share my thoughts for 2018:

Think about how you want to be remembered.  Act accordingly! 

Watch those around you.  Everyone is not in agreement!

Enjoy the life you have instead of trying to live someone else’s.  You’re good!

Negativity is in abundance.  Find positivity in every situation!  It’s a mindset!

Take a moment to “enjoy the view”.  God’s best view no matter where you sit!

You are your best advocate.  If you think you can, you will!

Everyone that is for you will be there through the sunny days and through the storms!

Integrity will take you further than nice things, a pretty face or your intellect.  Be real!

God wants you to depend on him.  Act accordingly!!!

Have fun.  Enjoy life’s crazy moments and laugh at yourself!

Thank God daily for waking you and do something worthy!

Each day was designed especially for you.  Live purposefully!

Excuses will hold you back.  Don’t make them, learn and grow from your mistakes!

Never let anyone tell you you can’t.  You are a warrior and you CAN!!!

Happy New Year!

 

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I had so many questions. How did this happen, where did it come from, why me, could I have prevented this?  One of my best friends passed away from this disease, I have 2 close friends who are in remission and a cousin who continues to fight her battles! I now know definitively, that my dad is beginning his battle. He will have surgery January 10th to have his prostate removed. That best friend, her father has the same thing happen to him.

When I was diagnosed, my surgeon suggested I have genetic testing done to see if there was a risk factor in our family. We went and spoke with a counselor, gave as much family health information as possible on both sides, got swabbed and waited for results. When the results came back, I was found to have Lynch Syndrome, a gene mutation that puts me at a higher risk than the general population for breast, colon, uterine, and ovarian cancers. Was my mind even on my family genes and cancer? Absolutely not! I really thought it was arbitrary. But I soon found out there is a link between genetics and cancer, especially the link between fathers and daughters.

The link below explains further the correlation between women and breast cancer and their fathers and prostrate cancer. Please read and take any steps you can to know your status as they say.

http://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/prostate-cancer-related-to-bc-risk

My father and I are very close and this is just one more thing we share. We have grit, determination, and nothing can stop us!

My CANcer Wisdom to You: Live, Love, Laugh! But be informed!

A year ago, I had to muster up all that was in me to prepare our Thanksgiving meal. I had just finished a chemotherapy treatment, was exhausted, afraid, uncertain, but it was something I felt I had to do! My husband tried his best to make me sit down and relax, but I just couldn’t… not on THIS day. He finally gave in (…he knows when his wife sets her mind to do something, she’s going to do it!) He decided he would fry the turkey and let me have at it.  I had to explain that this was therapeutic for me, cooking for Thanksgiving is a normalcy and I didn’t want to give that up. I was so conflicted with my thoughts of would This be the last Thanksgiving… I quickly let THAT thought go, I won’t give in that easy! So I commenced to cooking! I took many breaks and drank lots of water.  Needless to say, my family was happy, well fed, and so appreciative, they did ALL the cleaning!

I reflect on last year as this year we are back to our traditions and feeling good. We are with family, cooking, laughing, listening to music, having fun.  No treatments, no doctors’ orders, no meal restrictions, just thankful!

Now that Thanksgiving is done, we have another season of joy and family gatherings. ”Tis the Season”! Well in this season, there have been some challenges, but I know my God is a healer. I am facing surgery tomorrow due to a diagnosis of Lynch Syndrome. Here we go, that roller coaster ride again… According to the CDC, Lynch Syndrome is a genetic disorder caused by inherited genetic alterations, or mutations that have a chance of being passed on from parents to children and if you have it, your closest family members including siblings and parents have a 50% chance of having the condition. Other close family members are also at risk. So you might ask, what does all this mean.  For me, it puts me at a higher risk then the general population of developing other cancers like colon, ovarian, and uterine cancer. Hence, surgery is recommended to eliminate the risk. Due to my diagnosis last year of breast cancer, surgery is necessary.  So tomorrow, I will embark on another chapter in my life, but I know my God is a healer! I know my God is real because not only did my husband hold our hands in a family prayer tonight but our son said his prayer for me as well. It touched my heart and was my confirmation that God is real.

I am so thankful for my colleagues as they celebrated with me today on this journey. My prayer circle, the hugs, fellowship and pre-get well gifts warmed my heart! I am comforted knowing many prayers are being lifted and my family is covered.

This roller coaster ride has dips and dives, steep hills I think I can’t climb, falls that frighten me and make my stomach turn. However, I hold my hands up, anticipate the ride and let the wind hit my face as I scream at times and laugh at others wondering if I would do it again. Honestly I can say, I learned a lot and have grown even more on this ride, and know that soon I will get off and tell someone about it!💗

My CANcer Wisdom: Sometimes you have to take risk and she ride the scariest rides. In the end, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

Lynch Syndrome information taken from https://www.cdc.gov/features/lynchsyndrome/index.html

I received an email from my State Health Benefits Plan’s BeWell Program about the 5 Myths of Breast CANcer.  I am the Wellness Ambassador at my school and try to educate anyone I can, especially now about their well being and now breast health.  I thought this information was worth sharing with others on this final day of Breast CANcer Awareness Month. Please do not let this be the end of educating yourselves. October is for Breast CANcer Awareness, reminders of what we need to do to be proactive and live long healthy and productive lives. The rest of the year is for education, sharing, and promoting overall health. The organization’s information can be found at the end of the post.

5 Breast Cancer Myths – Busted! And the truths that can help you take control.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
There are things you can do to protect yourself from breast cancer. Understanding your risk, getting regular screenings, and making healthy choices are the best ways to find breast cancer early and lower your risk of developing the disease. Here are the facts you need to know.*
MYTH:  Breast cancer runs in the family.
TRUTH: Only 15% of women diagnosed have a family history. That’s why all women should ask their doctor about how often to have a mammogram.
MYTH: Men don’t get breast cancer.
TRUTH: It’s rare, but it happens. Less than 1% of all breast cancer develops in men. Whatever your gender, know what’s normal for your body. Regular self-checks can help with this. Report any breast changes or a lump right away.

MYTH:  I know all the risk factors.
TRUTH:  Many people don’t. Having dense breasts and taking hormones for birth control or menopause can play roles, as can being overweight or obese and getting an early first period. Ask your doctor about all your risks.
MYTH: Antiperspirants cause breast cancer.
TRUTH: There’s no scientific evidence linking antiperspirants and breast cancer, so no need to toss your gym bag staple. It’s more important to reduce the risks from lifestyle habits such as drinking alcohol. One drink a day should be your max. Two to three boosts risk by 20%. Quitting smoking may help, too.
MYTH: Diet and exercise don’t have an impact.
TRUTH: Obesity raises the risk of many cancers. Healthy habits can help you reach or maintain your goal weight. Walking 150 minutes per week lowers breast cancer risk by 20%. Eating more fruits and vegetables helps, too.

My CANcer Wisdom to you:  Know that facts and continue to ask questions and educate yourself beyond October 31st!

*Based on recommendations from the American Cancer Society.
Be Well SHBP • BeWellSHBP.com • 888-616-6411