My CANcer Chronicles Blog Posts

http://blackdoctor.org/485227/how-to-detox-your-armpit-to-prevent-breast-cancer/2/

‘Twas the night before surgery and all through the house, I was cleaning like crazy with my son and my spouse.
They wanted me to stop, but I told them I can’t, this has got to get done or I’ll go on a rant.
My husband said, “Calm down, please don’t you worry. We’ll get it done so you’re not in a flurry. The dishes he’ll load and the clothes he’ll fold, my son then vacuumed just as he was told!
When cleaning was done, they gave me a kiss, “We’re headed to track practice you will be missed. So I sat and I thought I have surgery soon, I do need to rest, I’ve been moving since noon! This surgery is serious and what I do need, to rid of this CANcer and illness indeed. As I continue to rest and think many thoughts, I doze off to sleep on the pillow I bought. In what seems like minutes, I am awake from my sleep, as my husband and son return with more than a peep. Well it’s now time for bed, to real sleep I go, preparing my mind for the lumpectomy show. So as I lay my head down and pray, a successful surgery and the CANcer away!

It’s April 4th, the day before my lumpectomy. I’m filled with lots of different feelings; some of them anxious some of them worried and some of them excited. I almost don’t know how to feel. I shouldn’t feel anxious and worried because I pray and I have faith that the Lord will take care of those doctors, surgeons, and the nurses and will ultimately take care of me. I have this sudden burst of energy where I shopped for the whole month, I’ve been cooking food and I’ve been cleaning the house from top to bottom. I know my husband and son are ready for me to sit down already…when I get in that energy box of cleaning, they know to run and hide because I’m coming for them too!!!

Any type of surgery is scary. There are risks and unknowns. I have a great team and have faith that they are skilled and will be guided by God’s hands to relieve my body of this CAncerous tumor. I’ve often thought of myself post-surgery. How would this new me look, how will I think, and how will I change. This surgery is somewhat symbolic. My new life, new chance, re-birth…a new me, healthier and more cognizant of my many blessings as well as how to live a healthier life overall. I am looking forward to the challenge and looking forward to fulfilling my purpose.

My CANcer Wisdom to you: Pray, have faith, and trust!

When I was first diagnosed, of course I thought about my family and what we were going to do, how would we pay for treatment, would I live long enough to fulfill all of my dreams for me, my husband and son, etc. Our lives would change forever.  I also thought about my job. I’m a special-education teacher and I am always thinking about my students. What can I do to help them academically, how can I make them better contributors to society, how will I make it to Spring Break with these little people????  I am supposed to make sure I do all that I can to meet their individual needs while closing the achievement gap and also teaching them how to think, how to behave, how to live up to their full potential.  When you have CANcer, I found that even thinking can be challenging!  Teaching with CANcer can be extremely challenging. Several missed days due to treatment and recovery. Fatigue on top of fatigue due to constantly playing catch-up.  I am still responsible for meeting deadlines and attending professional development, duties, etc. I am a teacher and I am accountable.  Meeting these expectations while nauseous, not being able to eat, drinking gallons of water, impromptu bathroom breaks (…and for a teacher, going to the bathroom is like planning the great escape from Alcatraz!!!) To be honest the vanity of it all is interesting as preparing to look professional is taken to a “whole ‘nother level”, as the kids say!  The challenges of losing the hair on your head and your eyebrows, debating wigs vs. scarves, having painted on eyebrows and trying to remember to check periodically to make sure they’re still there are all new and eventful challenges! I still have to show up on time with a smile and teach my students, be effective and engaging and shield them from my challenges.  Challenges…challenges…

I told my principal my situation and she shared it with her administrative team.  They have been understanding and supportive throughout the process which is a blessing these days in education.  The human side is often lost in test scores and daily routine, but at my school, I am human.  It was really hard to share my new journey with my colleagues as there are so many that could potentially be affected.  We work as a team and collaborate and make decisions together.  We support each other and depend on one another for help or just a listening ear when our walls close in on us.  I made the decision to tell my colleagues once I came to grips with it all with the help of my principal.  At first, I wasn’t  going to tell anyone which seemed OK at the time, however, selfish.  I am now glad I told my colleagues because so many have told me how I have helped them be stronger in their lives and even prompted many to get those mammograms they have been putting off.  I realized that telling others about my journey and allowing my colleagues into health, gave me a small platform to help others and become an advocate for early detection and taking care of our health.  It also brought prayers and support, hugs and visits to my classroom, conversation and a genuine, reciprocal care for each other.  Made my new work life manageable and removed unnecessary  and added stress!

In the beginning, I was conflicted about saying anything to my students.  They had enough on their plates and I didn’t want to add to their challenges.  But I had to say something as MY students would indeed notice any changes.  Knowing that I would be out more, I knew I had to say something.  Closer to my first treatment in November of 2016, I sat my students down in a circle and told them I had some health challenges that would require me to be absent a lot in order to get help to get better.  I did not want them to worry, so I gave them minimal information.  I assured them not to worry and to continue learning all they could and make me proud.  Surprisingly, they ask only a few questions that thankfully I was able to answer, nothing was too intrusive and thankfully none of my students asked me the two questions I dreaded: “Do you have CANcer?” and “Are you going to die?”  Phew…

My students adjusted well to the substitutes.  The beginning was rough and I thought substitutes would NEVER come back to my class.  There were a few students who were constantly “performing” and I thought for sure I would come in a half day and see the substitute ducked taped to the board!!!  Luckily, I was able to find a substitute that was excellent and willing to come any time I was out.  He was able to manage the class, made sure the students completed all of the assignments, followed my lesson plans and my students liked him.  Thank the Lord!!!

All in all, my decision to continue to work through and with CANcer has turned out to be a blessing.  While in my classroom, I am always focused on my students and instruction and therefore have no time for worry.  I stay busy and work hard.  I have a stool to sit on by my board, we have an elevator so I do not have to use the steps and the bathroom is close and I have great teammates who step in when needed!  My students are sweet and nurturing and carry books for me, run errands and even bring me snacks and chocolate…they know my love for chocolate!!!

My CANcer Wisdom for You:  At the beginning of our school year, our principal welcomed us with the theme of “The Energy Bus” which is a book by Jon Gordon that provides us with 10 secrets for approaching life and work with positive energy.  Who would’ve known this would be what I needed!  I have always approached life in a positive way being the optimist…well MOST times…and not letting too much keep me from continuing to move forward.  This book is a good read and helps you to keep your life and work in perspective whether you are dealing with challenges or just trying to keep your head above water.  I am on the Positive Energy Bus and will ride it ’til the wheels fall off!  

http://www.theenergybus.com/

 

It’s Friday, it’s sunny, and the temperature is mild.  I have my feet up and looking at the wonderment that is at my window.  No matter what your beliefs, you have to acknowledge the divine splendor of the sun in a crisp, blue sky.  I am day 14 post last chemo.  That is something to continuously celebrate!

For a patient that is on this CANcer journey, small delights are worth celebrating.  This week, I was able to work all five days in a row!!!  As a special education teacher, or any teacher for that matter, that is no small feat.  Even my students commented that they saw me every day this week after asking me Monday and Tuesday if they would see me the next day.  I so proudly told them, “I will be here tomorrow!”  Of course, I prayed that these side effects would be manageable so I wouldn’t disappoint.  Thank goodness!

My taste buds are cooperating and getting back into the routine.  Like Lemony Snicket in “A Tale of Unfortunate Events”, fortunately, chemotherapy kills cancerous cells, unfortunately, it also kills some good cells like the ones that make up your taste buds…ugh!  However, I’ll get through as I choose life!!!  My food is coming back to me and the aromas are no longer nauseating.   It’s amazing what you miss when it is just routine and it’s amazing the routines you cherish once you miss it.  Every bite is so delectable and every smell is so special.

I have enough energy to wash clothes!  Sounds funny, but I promise you, it feels good to be able to take care of your home without having to stop and rest or just leave everything to the wolves.  While in treatment, if I felt like it, it would take me a couple of days just to wash, dry and put away the clothes.  A couple of weeks, I was still washing and by the time I finished, it was time to wash again!  That is no way to live!

To all of my sisters and brothers on this journey, know that whatever stage or whatever type or whatever step you are in your treatment, there is reason to celebrate.  Find anything that makes you smile or laugh.  Think of memories, people or events that warm your heart.  Anything that reminds you of why you fight, why you manage side effects, etc. There will be better days ahead that will be well worth the rough ones.  Hang in there, love yourself and enjoy the sunshine!

My CANcer Wisdom to You:  Write down positive things that happen in your life and keep them in a jar for a year.  Whenever you have one of those days when you feel things are not going well or you are just feeling down right awful, pull a couple and read.  I promise you it will lift you up and get you back.

What you’ll need:

1 container or anything to hold a small decorative pad and pen.

1  vase or anything deep and wide to hold all of the good and positive things that happen each day or each week.  Celebrate, Stay Positive and Enjoy Life!

 

This is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it! I remember singing that song during Sunday school, vacation Bible school and in my early years in private school. It was always one of those songs that reminded me, even as a child, to be thankful for everyday whether rain or shine, good times or bad, fun or boring.  The Lord gave me life!  Today is one of those days.

Birthdays have always been special to me. I remember my mom would cook my favorite meal, fried chicken, mac and cheese, collards and yellow cake with chocolate icing, and I would be surrounded by family. Family who were my village and celebrated the importance of birthdays just like me. The Milestones were the greatest: The 1st Birthday, only remembered through pictures 😊, the 5th, preparing for Kindergarten, the 10th, moving into double digits, 13th, now a teenager, Sweet 16, 18th, time to vote, 21st, grown, etc.,  etc.  Now at 46, what say I? Not quite a Milestone but closer to the big 5…0 than not! This 46th Birthday, I’m Blessed to be surrounded by family, have a patient and nurturing husband, and a resilient 7 year old son who loves his mommy bald head and all! He always draws a picture of the two of us in the card he picks out. This year, I have no hair!!!

As I reflect on my birthday, I’m feeling closer to my purpose and closer to why God has had me seeking his purpose for the past 46 years. Yes, I do believe that his destiny begins long before you are able to understand and fulfill it! CANcer is just a way to get me to seek him while encouraging others to do the same.  I look back on my life and I am hopeful for a future where I can change lives and inspire others to have faith and move forward in life seeking his purpose.

My CANcer Wisdom for You:

Seek Ye First!

I rang that bell like nobody’s business!!!  Yesterday was my last chemo treatment….If God will it and the creek don’t rise! Part 1 of my journey has been quite the ride. From side effects to missing work occasionally and having to miss out on outings and being in public places when my immune system could be compromised. But I won’t complain.  I have a WONDERFUL village both near and far.  Everyone around me has been ENCOURAGING and POSITIVE which is half the battle.   I have especially been BLESSED with the most SUPPORTIVE husband who continues to make me feel SPECIAL and LOVED and BEAUTIFUL! This man has coached me along the way.  My husband, coach, confidant, prayer partner and hold me down man, Bonnie and Clyde kind of way!  Always by my side making sure I’m comfortable and have my water and vanilla ice cream! This part of the journey, to me, was the most challenging.  If you are going on this journey or are in the midst of it, surround yourself with positivity and positive family and friends, those who have empathy not sympathy. You need love and PATIENCE, PRAYER and INSPIRATION.  Find daily devotionals, scripture that inspires you and lifts you spiritually and anything that reminds you that this journey is a part of a DIVINE plan to impact not only your life but the life of those around you from family to friends, colleagues to church members and even strangers placed in your presence specifically for your purpose.

For my PEACE of MIND,  I really love the Holy Bible YouVersion Bible App. There are great plans to follow that provide daily devotionals, scripture, prayers, and even videos that seem to touch the very place you’re in and places you in the spiritual place you need to be.  I have also begun reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, using the companion Reflection Journal. It is a 40 Day journey to discover your PURPOSE.  Today will be my day one and prayerfully, I will be able to stay on track, read and reflect EVERYDAY and complete this SPIRITUAL JOURNEY by April 12th.  Ironically, the 40th day is the day before my post-op appointment.  Maybe more divine than ironic!  Since my diagnosis, I’ve been searching for my purpose in this new journey. Is it for me alone, my family and/or friends…. do I have a new platform to help others through this blog, in person at work, at the grocery store, community service, what is my purpose now?  I have been trying to figure it out on my own. Well, consistently, I’ve been hearing, reading, and it has been revealed to me that I should stop looking for my purpose and pray for GOD to reveal HIS purpose to me! HE is the only one who knows. HE is just waiting for me to hear HIM!

The bell ringing ceremony was a highlight and a significant ending to journey part 1.  I’ve watched a couple of patients ring that bell and cheered them on awaiting my special day.  This bell ringing symbolizes the ending of treatment and the beginning of your new life’s journey.  This tradition began in 1996 at The University of Texas MD Anderson Center.  A U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Irve Le Moyne completed his treatment for head and neck cancer and decided to install a brass bell to ring signifying the end of treatment.  This tradition has been adopted in several cancer centers and treatment facilities around the country.  I was so BLESSED to have this wonderful OPPORTUNITY!

My CANcer Wisdom to You:

Those on a CANcer journey or any health journey, read the all CAPS words alone. Hopefully, they will fill you with encouragement, hope, and inspiration. Stay positive and pray, have faith and not fear. Strength comes from the MOST HIGH!

Those who are the caretakers, the family or friends, church members or colleagues, bring patience and positivity. Pray often and stay strong. Take care of yourself so you can be a BLESSING to those who need you the most and read the all CAPS words alone as well. May those words bring you comfort and understanding.

On to Jouney Part 2! Love to all in the presence of this blog!

Written on February 19th, 9 days after 5th chemo treatment……

A lot of times we go through life and we don’t just enjoy the simple things. Having this cancer diagnosis has really made me come to appreciate all the little things in life. I call them Whoppers.  You may be asking, “Why Whoppers?” I call the simple things Whoppers because I had my 5th chemo treatment about nine days ago and all I could think about was a Burger King Whopper. See, after you have chemo, there is a period of time that your taste buds go on strike! They do not cooperate and can be down right mean to your mouth.  So at times you have these cravings and overwhelming thoughts of various types of food. Sometimes, it’s food you’ve never had or even liked! Well, I am a Chick-fil-a and McDonald’s kind of girl so thinking about a Whopper was a tad bit strange to say the least. I even went online and looked at the Whopper to see what the ingredients were; broiled beef patty, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun…. I was determined to eat one as soon as my taste buds allowed and it did not disappoint!

In life we all have simple things like Whoppers we take for granted. We miss out on small enjoyments seeking the grand ones. Both are wonderful and pleasing, however, those that are the simplest are so because they bring so much more like memories and recollections. The Whoppers, simple things in life, are often easier to attain and harder to forget.  That Whopper meant so much more to me than sustenance, it slowed me down, made me reflect, and gave me hope that if I begin appreciating the Whoppers in my life, my happiness would be determined with each moment not each successful treatment.

My CANcer Wisdom to you:  Find your Whoppers and enjoy them for tomorrow is not promised! Relish in the fact that there are simple things that will bring you more joy then you will ever know.  Unwrap that Whopper and enjoy!

The third day after treatment is a bear! Fatigue sets in, bone pain, and those taste buds begin their decline. This is always the day I question whether I will get through this. It’s only a moment though, because my faith carries me through! I never really question God, just have questions. I sit still and wait on him and he simply allows me to breathe, feel and even question. That’s my answer. As long as I’m able, I continue to be.

There are times I feel like a Superhero. Taking care of my family, working, volunteering, telling others about my journey.  Then there are times where I feel completely vulnerable, silent in my fight, in denial, and even weak.  Being a Superhero takes a lot of responsibility and strength…. why me? I don’t have a cape or a halo! I’m not a Superhero, a divine being. I’m just me… a wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, colleague. But you know, everyone has their inner Superhero. Whatever makes you fight, think positive, whatever motivates you to be and do your best. Everything in you that makes you face challenges and overcome obstacles…all encompasses your cape and halo. It’s your purpose, your why, your reason!

Fighting breast cancer is like riding a roller coaster that has immeasurable dips and valleys, turns and hills that sometimes catches you off guard and sometimes stares you right in the face! Me, I choose to ride my coaster with my eyes wide open! I want to see where I’m going, no surprises. Some of the hills make me scream and others make me cry. I ride with my husband and son, family and friends and keep my GOD very close for the dips and valleys. Some say, “You’re so strong, courageous…” My response, “I don’t have a cape or a halo!” I’m not strong or courageous. I have a purpose. God has a purpose for my life and if it’s through this platform called breast CANcer, then so be it. I don’t like to look at myself as being extraordinary due to a circumstance. There are many people that have circumstances and that would make me seem that my circumstance is more than another. Extraordinary people are made out of how they live through their purpose.
My CANcer Wisdom to you: Ask God what your purpose is and live in that. Don’t rely on that cape or halo others bestow on you. You are as strong and as courageous as needed to face any circumstance you have. You were chosen so use the platform wisely.

January 19, 2017 10:12am

As 2016 came to a close, I felt compelled to blog, but didn’t really feel like it as I brought in the New Year 2 days after chemo treatment. As I recovered, I had many thoughts of what to do next, what to write, how to reflect, New Year Resolutions, Goals, Vision Boards, etc. But I just couldn’t muster up the stamina to do it. I even participated in a webinar about creating goals that are measurable and can actually be accomplished within reason and not just ceremonially.  I looked back at 2016 with a questionable eye as the last two months was devastating with this diagnosis, a tremendous amount of unexpected new debt and a new way of living. Well, I don’t live in regret or in the past so I had to ask myself “What now?”.

As I reflect on 2016, I remember beginning the year with my husband and son, crab legs and shrimp, football and the apple and peach drop (Born in New York, live in Georgia!)  I remember 2016 as a year of risks, career and personal growth and ambition. I committed myself to my community, extended my time to helping others and became a better wife and mother.  When CANcer came into our lives, I gave myself a death sentence. The doctors didn’t tell me this, my mind did! I stopped living for a day… what now?

A few days after my diagnosis, as a family, we made a decision.  Think positive, relax and rest, rely on family and friends to help. When I finally let go and let GOD and did that, I felt so much better. Prayers and warm wishes kept me hopeful and I felt alive again.  So, the question “…what now?” as I entered 2017, was more about how to keep my life and our life going and not so much what do I do because I have CANcer.

I continue to teach my little cherubs and take time when I need. I schedule community service around treatment and vulnerability. I love on my husband and son as much as possible and ensure my son continues to do what he enjoys. It’s been working great!

Fast forward to today, February 10, 2017!!!! Yes, it still took me a minute to post, but it’s my blog and it’s ok… TeeHee😉I want this to be an encouraging, inspirational, positive exchange but I have to be honest as well. Sometimes the side effects, fatigue, taste buds that don’t taste, peripheral neuropathy, and catching a simple cold that sends you to urgent care for another upfront bill ($110) just doesn’t make you feel “pink”! However, I’m the type to soldier on and find the good in it all. I learned I really have to be mindful of my environment, what I touch, hands I shake, what and when to sanitize and how often! I also learned that if my Doctor happens to open at 11:00am on that particular day, a couple of hours for a simple copay will be just fine!!!

So a few nuggets…. I was watching the National College Football Championship game and ESPN always does a great job of highlighting the stories behind the athletes. Well, Dashaun Watson, winning quarterback for Clemson University, has a mom who had tongue CANcer and has been CANcer free for one year. She is a single mom who did everything she could to make sure her son got to college and stayed focused to fulfill HIS dream. He talked about his mom’s strength and how she always encouraged him to be strong and make her proud. “Her strength in all that she was going through made me stronger!” As I make my reflections, I keep them in mind. When I complain about my taste buds, I keep Dashaun’s mom on my heart as that dear woman has tongue CANcer and
had part of her tongue removed! I can’t complain!

My CANcer Wisdom to you: Remember to stay positive. There is someone out there who is going through far worse, believe it or not. Also don’t think of your treatments as adding years to your life, you go ahead and add LIFE to your years. Have fun, live, laugh, do something adventurous, different, exciting and new!
Be Blessed!

On December 10th, I decided it was time to let it go! My hair had been thinning and it wasn’t worth keeping. I did some preliminary things to prepare myself. I had my stylist cut my hair into a shorter bob, took professional holiday pictures with my family, and bought a wig that looked similar to my cut. I also began watching YouTube tutorials on wearing the head wraps and scarves. 

I’ve made the decision to embrace everything that comes with breast cancer besides death! So anything I can see, although blurry at times, taste, although like cardboard at times, touch, although tingly at times, hear, although it needs repeating (maybe that’s just me!!!), smell, although overly stinky at times, I will endure it all because the alternative eliminates it all, not at times but forever.

My hair was a very important part of me, so I thought.  As a little girl, my hair was always thick and full and long. My mom took great pride in our hair and washed mine every week and put it in cute styles. Even when I played hard at school, because I was always athletic and competed with boys, my hair continued to be neat. In my late teens until this point, almost 27 years and counting, I go to my same hair doctor! I call her that because she focuses on keeping hair healthy and using quality products. She even shares products with me so I can maintain my own hair between appointments. All that being said, I continue to take pride in my hair focusing on the healthy side. There was a long time in my educational career when I worked with severely behavioral and emotional students. Students that I had to restrain from time to time. My principal then, who has since retired, commented that no matter how physical I had to get, my hair continued to stay in place! To this day, I received compliments on my hair. Just last month, my family and I was on a local restaurant. A couple of colleagues called my name and I turned because I recognized their voices. We spoke and I was told, “…we can recognize the back of that pretty hair anywhere!”  I say all of that to say, I am not my hair. Now that my hair is gone, I am me, just like the day I was born! 

Me preparing to lose my hair was the best thing I could’ve done for me, my husband, and my seven year old son. I would advise anyone going through this most recognizable side effect of chemo to prepare emotionally and physically for this process. If you are working like me, a school teacher, and have to interact with colleagues often, you may feel comfortable wearing a wig, I wouldn’t do anything over the top just yet. Try to stay close to your color, cut, and length until you are comfortable. It is a big change. Wigs can be hot, feel like a hat, and sometimes you may even forget to put it on, but your cold head will quickly remind you! Been there done that! If your job includes interacting with the public, mostly those who are not familiar with you or do not see you on a regular basis, you may have more flexibility depending how you feel. You may explore various wig colors, lengths and styles as well as scarves and various head coverings. YouTube has a plethora of tutorials that will make you stylish and trendy! As you are more comfortable, and you feel like yourself just with no hair, you can experiment with all options including rockin’ your bald head. My husband and son have been great with the change. They are both “hair men”, but I quickly realized they are “me men”, my guys who love me more than my hair! My other family members have been very supportive but do notice the change more since they don’t see me everyday.  My colleagues are more sympathetic as it seems to remind them about my struggle with this cancer. But they quickly see my strength instead of my struggle and pay attention to how I am handing my hair loss and take my lead. When strangers see the scarves, I can almost see their minds saying, “Wow, she probably has cancer.” I think that’s the worst because people seem to think cancer made my hair fall out but it’s actually the treatment and the treatment is healing me. So I will lose my hair if it means finding a healthy, new life.

Having breast cancer has really helped me to recognize what’s really important in life. My hair is not on the top of the list… any more. I must be transparent and admit when I realized I was going to have to let my hair go, I was angry and did not want to let it go. I was worried if my husband would be able to see me as the same beautiful woman he thought I was and if my son would be brutally honest and tell me I looked liked a boy and not a girl and he liked me better with hair! Well, they have embraced it all and love me for who I am and not for the hair that use to be on my head.

As far as being a teacher, I worried so much about looking different to the children. There are many students I’ve known for years and have watched them grow for the four years I’ve been at my school. Surprisingly, they didn’t even notice I had a wig! It made me feel better and more confident about this very vain but emotional time I’m going through. Wigs and head coverings are very popular now, so as long as I’m stylish, I think I’ll be alright, take a chance, and experiment more with my look in 2017!

So being “wiggalicious” is not so bad after all! My advice would be the following:

1. If you are a newbie to breast cancer, know your treatment protocol and find out if one of the side effects is hair loss.  
2. Take a selfie!!! Or a couple of selfies for memories or before/after pics as a reflective process, whatever you’re comfortable with. I took a selfie with my husband and son and I took a selfie at school on our Pink Out Day.
3. Family photo shoot! Your hair will begin the shedding process about 2-3 weeks after 1st treatment maybe sooner or later. It depends on meds and your scalp. Try to schedule sooner than later. We took our pictures on Black Friday, a week after my first chemo treatment and after I got my hair cut. The pictures came out beautifully and we made Christmas cards for all of our family members. At any point in the year you decide to take your family photo, make cards to send to family. It helped ours remain positive and it made for a great memory for everyone!
4. If you have longer hair, consider donating it to an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.
5. Cut your hair into a shorter style. My hair was shoulder length all around so I got my hair cut in a shirt bob that was semi-shaved in the back and longer in the front.   My hair was thick and that minimized the presence of patches. It also helped me to come up with a timeline for preparing to shave my head.
6. Before your hair begins to shed, think about how you want to handle your new look. Will you wear a wig, scarves, rock your baldness or a combination of two or three. Try on different types of wigs, practice with scarves and pull your hair back just so you can see your face more often! Try new make-up, earrings, anything that makes you feel and look good and keeps you with a positive perspective.  Make it fun! When I started this process, I made a conscious decision  to use this as an opportunity to be bold and beautiful and not let this part of the process get me down. After all, this is a part of the healing process believe it or not. The only unfortunate thing is the chemo gets rid of the bad cells but also some of the good cells too. But if this process saves my life, I am not my hair!
7. Give yourself a date to shave your head. Do not wait until it is coming out in clumps. Unfortunately, I know a couple of family and friends who have had various types of cancer and they have all said the same thing… shave it before you can comb or pull out clumps with your hands, before it is laying on your pillow when you are not, and before you have noticeable patches. It is way too emotional to see yourself “fall apart” like that.
8. Involve your family. I told my son weeks before I lost my hair the changes mommy would go through. I even showed him an episode of Entertainment Tonight when  the mother of Michael Jackson’s children talked about her cancer, how she lost her hair and how she wore a wig. My son wasn’t ready when she actually took her wig off on TV. He was amazed, then laughed, then was so confused! I had to explain what a wig was, why she wore it and how she could take it off and put it on again.  I explained that’s what mommy would do. He said ok, but looked confused. Once I bought the wig and demonstrated (our child is a visual learner) he got it and asked when we were going to play barber shop!!!
9. On Saturday, we played barber shop and my husband and son shaved my head. Not completely bald but pretty much. I was surprised at myself because I thought I would cry and go through a litany of the “why me” and self- deprecating statements about my looks. I was actually relieved that this part was over, I still looked like myself, just with no hair, and my husband and son hugged me and made me feel great!
10. Take a risk and wear your hair covering out with your accessories the very next day. We went to a new church that we had visited before and knew a few people but not many. I was very comfortable because no one noticed anything different because they had no frame of reference. My self-test worked and now I was more comfortable wearing my wig at work and around people I knew and were familiar to me.
11. Keep experimenting, especially on the weekends. Go shopping to the mall, Walmart, SAMs, Publix, Kroger, Dollar Tree, Chic-Fil-A, just some of my favorites. See how you feel, determine what is doable and convenient and what head coverings would be best with no more hassle more than your regular hair routine.
12. Embrace the inevitable in a positive manner and become a better, new and improved you!
13. Check out the resources at the American Cancer Society website:  http://www.cancer.org/
    • Get a list of wig shops in your area from your cancer team, other patients, or from the phone book. You can also order the American Cancer Society’s “tlc” Tender Loving Care^® catalog (for women with hair loss due to cancer treatment) by visiting www.tlcdirect.org or by calling 1-800-850-9445.
    • The American Cancer Society is not able to accept hair donations; however, there are two organizations that we refer people to that can accept that type donation: Wigs for Kids and Pantene Beautiful Lengths.
    • Check your local areas for non-profit organizations that accept human hair donations.  But do your research.  Unfortunately, there are some organizations that sell the hair that you donate!  Check them out in your search!

CANcer Wisdom: Always maintain a positive outlook and perspective. Have faith and not fear, commit to the process and don’t complain, and be prayerful not pessimistic! Surround yourself with positive energy and model what you want from others. If you’re positive and happy, others will be that for you. Be honest with yourself, you are human too. If you want to cry, curse, vent, do that, but then get right back in the fight and be a warrior. There are people depending on you. It will not always be easy, but be strong and understand mind over matter. Everyone that I’ve confided in told me the same thing, half the battle is being positive and strong, but if you can do that half the battle is won! Stay strong my breast cancer warriors, this too shall pass.